


The blue, just like the green.

by loveknowsnoboundaries



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: English translation, I am crazy, M/M, but this is too beautiful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 23:51:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1960929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveknowsnoboundaries/pseuds/loveknowsnoboundaries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a nutshell, Harry Styles, an almost twenty five years old gay guy, found himself raising his sister's son, and taking care of his mother, dying of cancer. In short, an easy life. Harry didn't get attached to people, only his nephew and his mother could call themselves the lucky people Harry loved endlessly. Harry couldn't get have a relationship, either with a man or anybody, he shouldn't. For now, at least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so, i decided to nosedive myself into this crazy thing. i've read this, not a long time ago, and i decided this was too beautiful to be read just by italians.  
> YOU CAN FIND THE ORIGINAL ONE HERE: http://efpfanfic.net/viewstory.php?sid=2673647&i=1  
> enjoy :)

"Johnathan, grab your rucksack, we're going to school, you little scoundrel!"  
The young man smiled widely at the fragile creature standing under his green eyes. The child chuckled, sliding on his shoulders his green rucksack with a shapeless print of a frog. He checked the inside of the bag, just to be sure he had everything he needed: his lunchbag, a red toycar and his round glasses' case.

"Is it cold outside? Will you take me to the park after school?" The child asked hopeful, his big eyes sparkling as he let his uncle put his beanie on his small head, the scarf and the blue navy coat he like so much. "And will you buy me the fireman's helmet? You know, there are just..." The child said, counting the days left to his birthday on his hand's chubby, little fingers. "...just four days left!" He exclaimed.

The young man lifted his nephew up, holding him tightly and sighing. "Johna, obviously, everything you want, it's your birthday! Hey, listen. Have you talked with Amelia? And did you give her that bunch of daisy chain we accidentally teared off from our neighbor's lawn?" He finished talking while shoving his keys in the door's keyhole. John, whose cheeks were already becoming red due to the cold air, nodded quickly, and nuzzled his face into his uncle's neck. "That's amazing! And what did she say? Has she finally left that Caleb?"

"No, she laughed and stomped on them. Then ran away to that asshole of Caleb." Johnathan said, while his uncle put him down and linked their hands together.

"Woah, language, Hopper! If Grandma hears us, she'll put both of us in the oven with our lunch." Johnathan laughed. "That Amelia, she has no idea what she's missing. You are a great boyfriend. But don't worry about her, she's just a little whore." Johnathan laughed again, but louder than the previous time.  
The young man loved to hear his nephew's laugh, its sound filled his heart and made it burst in a million sparks, just like fireworks did, The boy loved taking care of him.

The cold wind blowing, and the typical London's morning fog, accompanied them through the subway's underpass. They walked side by side; the 6 inches tall boy had to bend over the small child to hear what he was saying, since the child was tall almost an half of him. About six minutes later, the strange duo was sitting in the busy morning wagon, talking about how Johna got an extra portion of ice cream, the day before.

"I don't want to go to school, can I stay with you?" The child say, ceding his seat to a pregnant woman, and sitting on his uncle's lap.  
"You already know my answer, Potter." His uncle teased him because of his round glasses, laying on his petite nose."But please!" He said, his shrill voice making a few heads to turn.  
"No, John, my answer's no. The more you cry with me, the more I become bad. You know that when we joke, I play with you, but I'm being serious now, and you have to respect your duties. Is that clear?"

The child nodded and looked down at his feet. The boy kissed his forehead, half covered by his beanie, and lifted him up, walking out of the wagon and to his nephew's school. A large sign with the words 'The Ladybird' appeared in front of their eyes. The boy put the child down and hugged him tightly, while the smaller one kissed his cheek and greeted him with one of his chubby hands.

Harry, Johna's uncle's name, watched as his sole reason for living, his unique anchor that prevented him from sinking like a boat, disappeared behing the asylum's walls. Harry was a twenty four years old man with a 'son' to take care of. Harry has found himself wit a newborn to look after at the age of nineteen, when his sister, Gemma, died. Since then, Harry hasn't had friends anymore, he was too worried about looking after Johna and his mother, who suffered from cancer.  
Harry hadn't got a social life, he didn't go clubbing anymore, or had fun with sex, alcohol and drugs like he used to. Harry had ust given himself to his nephew. He loved his sister and he would've helped her in every possible way, including raising her son, filling him with attention and scolding him when needed. Harry grew Johnathan as his son, and the child considered him as his real dad.  
Harry spent his days dressing, washing, helping, scolding and playing with Johnathan; the went playing football at the local football pitch, they went shopping at the supermarket below Harry's apartment, they cooked together and played 'cops and robbers'. They never got bored.

But there was still something missing.

Harry was a young boy, and as such, he wanted to have fun. But he couldn't, otherwise Johnathan was left alone. Of course, there always was that asshole of the child's father, but Harry preferred to remain barricaded in his house rather than let his nephew spend one night with that worm. That dickhead had left him with a six months pregnant sister, just to have some fun with a thirty years old slut. Now, he cared a lot about his child, even though he cursed him over and over, when he still was into his mother's belly.

In a nutshell, Harry Styles, an almost twenty five years old gay guy, found himself raising his sister's son, and taking care of his mother, dying of cancer. In short, an easy life. Harry didn't get attached to people, only his nephew and his mother could call themselves the lucky people Harry loved endlessly. Harry couldn't get have a relationship, either with a man or anybody, he shouldn't. For now, at least. 

Yet when he turned to the side, towards the main gates of the school, ready to leave, everything collapsed. A stormy sea crashed into a placid, green lawn. When Harry abruptly turned, he drowned in a blue abyss, made of oddities and fascinating at the same time. Harry stared straight ahead for a full five minutes; about five feets far from him, there was the most beautiful and fragile human being he has ever seen. It was then, that the blue sky of the stranger's eyes pushed through the emerald green of Harry's tired - and not so hopeful - eyes.


	2. An unexplicable, rare, strange green.

It surely was green, but it was a different, unique, special kind of. An unexplicable, strange, rare, kind of green. It wasn't bright, yet it wasn't dark. It was too dark to be compared to the typical English lawns', but it was too bright to be compared to the pines'. Louis felt like a child in that moment, because he couldn't find the right adjective to describe that green, that pushed through his icy blue irises in an almost cocky way. He felt small, speechless, like a kindergarten child that only knows 'good' and 'bad' as words to describe things they see. Louis felt empty, better yet, emptied from every thought or worry.

It was an unknown green, it was THE green of THE stranger. 

Louis had lost his gab that had accompanied him for the past 25 years. He was almost shocked, bone-dry. His mouth dried from every word, his throat itching madly. He was mute, mute just like that green. Because it sure as hell was, mute, and extremely distant. Those eyes were a paradox compared to Louis'. Louis' eyes were lively, cautious and ready to catch every single particular of anything he would see, and relaxed. Even though they were relaxed just because of the beautiful panorama he was having the pleasure to admire. The stranger's eyes instead were dead, dark and probably he was also on the verge of tears, but they were terrified, too. And, just by a quick look, Louis could see that they looked restless. 

Louis was staring at the man from several minutes by now. He had lost his initiative, because right in front of that boy, Louis could do nothing but just stare. He wasn't even playing with fire like he would usually do, to one of his friends he wouldn't even look like the same Louis, the one that would already had had a small chat with the stranger, and that would come back with his number written on the back of his hand. Louis wasn't even moving, his mouth slighlty parted, and tried to gulp the lump that had formed at the height of his trachea, completely dazed. After many years, Louis was shocked by the sight of someone, by the sigh of so much beauty. That boy was extremely charming, and handsome. Yet, so misterious. He was beautiful, tall, fit, but fragile at the same time, ready to fall apart in a moment. Louis knew it by his eyes, Louis knew everything by the look in people's eyes, just by giving a quick glance. Louis could never forget those eyes, not even under torture, because Louis lovew just a few things, on one of those are charateristics. Louis was always content with charateristics, Louis lived of them. They could make Louis' day better or worse. 

One small pinch on his hip brought him back to reality. He looked down and saw that his small five years old sister was looking up at him with a baffled face. "Hurry up! I swear I won't say good bye to you today. Wow, this is my first day at this new school and you don't even care about me! You look like Raven when she has one of her visions!" She said, taking a deep breath when she finished talking, using too many words for her early age. Louis chuckled and bent over her, hugging her and chucked her cheek. 

"Hurry, go, you little pain in the ass." She stomped her feet on the ground and ran to the main entrance of the school. Louis was now alone and he could go and talk to the stranger, but when he looked up, he was gone.

* * *

 

They were looking at each other, to cowards or maybe too bewitched to talk to each other. They were drowning into each other. They were staring at each other with no trace of maidenliness or shame. Harry was feeling sick, literally. He was breaking the promise he made with his sister. His duty was to keep his nephew's life as a good and dignified one, and Harry couldn't afford the luxury of falling in love. Guilt, abandon and regret drowned him. Harry hated himself really quickly. Harry was a weird kind of person, because he didn't know that falling in love could do nothing to him but making him feel lots better, in that shit he found himself drowned in, he thought that everything was his fault, but at that point, he just exploded. When Harry saw that the stranger had switched his gaze from him to the small girl beside him, he did the first thing that popped up in his mind. Running. He ran away without facing his 'problem', because he was scared, just scared he could do something he would regret. He was running away, fast, without no one to notice him, like some child playing hide and seek. Harry knew his only salvation was the cemetery. Harry needed to talk with his sister, he needed to tell his sin to her, beacuse he was sinking, and in that moment Harry Styles couldn't afford it. He couldn't. 

He opened the graveyard's gates, that made an extremely sinister creaking noise. Two ranks of trees formed an hallway as an entrance to the cemetery, he walked straight to his sister's grave, giving quick glances at the others. Harry felt incredibly anguished. Looking at all those graves made him feel like he had an heavy weight on his heart; he missed his sister, their relationship was much more than the others brotherhoods. With a bunch of white and scented daisy chains, he reached her grave. 'Gemma Spencer Styles', was written with a classy handwriting over the stonegrave. The date, that date, was shining right under her name. 

"Hi, Gem..." The boy said, leaving the flowers in a vase, and sitting in front of the grave. "How are you? Are the others kind up there?" He smiled, a failing attempt to hold back the tears.

"You know, Gemma, it was all okay until yesterday... I'm raising your son as if he's mine, I make sure he has everything he needs, Johnathan is an amazing child, really, he sometimes becomes cranky as you used to. He looks exactly like you, Mom says he looks a bit like me when I was at his age, our eyes have the same shape and our lips have the same shade of red, but..." He blinked back the tears that were trying to escape his eyes. "...but his hair color his like his dad's. They're blonde, just like that asshole's, and God, Gemma, his eyes. They're the exact print of his father's! They're blue, intense, captivating. They look like each other, but I can't blame, he's his father... do you wonder where he is? He's in jail, Gem, I won, no, we... we won, after almost six fucking years, we won. Me, Johna, Mom, you... all the four of us. I owed this favour to you, I owed it to you Gemma. When I found you, o-on the floor, I..." He cried. He cried in front of his sister, being whelmed by all his memories, all the monsters from his past. He stopped that conversation, he was too weak to face it. 

"I'm so sorry, Gem, I can be so pathetic sometimes. Today, outside Johna's school, I saw what I shouldn't see... Gemma, I'm breaking the promise we made, I'm betraying you, but, oh... when I saw that guy..." He smiled a small smile, looking at the picture on the grave. "You can't even imagine how beautiful he is. I looked at him from the main entrance, we were far, but I could see he's really, really short. But he was handsome, I just... his eyes. They're so blue, not too big but not small. They're cute, like his nose. He looks like a kid, he's so, so beautiful..." He blushed at those words said 'in front of' his sister.

"Gemma, am I sinning? I'm erring, right? I'm breaking the deal we made, I'm leaving Johna, I can't let this happen. Can I, Gemma? Gem, please answer, what should I do?" Harry started crying silently, like the few times he allowed himself to do so.

"Gemma, WHAT SHOULD I DO?" He was stupid, and pathetic. That was all he was. "Gem I miss you. Where have you gone? Why you left me alone?"

* * *

 

"Uncle Haz, the last hast was the one to the park..." Johnatan said, his voice quivering and sad. Harry didn't hear what Johnatan said. His head was resting again the tube's green rail, standing on his feet although they were the only ones in the subway and they had all the seats for themselves. "Did you hear me? I wanted to go to the park..." The child, sitting on one of the seats, lifted his head just for a second, before sniffling his nose.

"What... what did you say, dear? I-I'm sorry, I didn't hear you..." He said, turning to Johnatan. 

"The... the hast, we lost it... the one to the park, you promised me we would have gone to the park after school..." 

"Oh my God baby, I'm so sorry, I forgot." He said, bending his knees so he was facing the child, who cried a little, not even so sad about it. His uncle closed his big hands around his, much smaller, and looked at him straight in his eyes.

"Love, can you forgive me? Extra chocolate?" He said, his eyes big, sorrow ready to fuck him up.

"I... I want to go visit Granny, can we?" Harry smiled heartily, his dimples showing at the sides of his full lips. He kissed the baby's hands and nodded. 

"Yes, sir!" He moved his arm up and down like a pirate, making Johnatan laugh. He laughed, too, forgetting about the monsters chasing him in his past, present and future. Harry was running with Johnatan through the white and medicine-smelling hallways of the hospital his mother was recovered in, with a big smile. They stopped in front of room 153 of the third floor, the one where cancer patients were recovered. He tried to catch his breath, as Johnatan knocked at the door and entered the room, shouting a loud: "Hi, Granny!"

The child ran toward his grandmother's bed and jumped in her weak arms. Harry slowly walked toward the two, hugging both of them and kissed his mother's forehead. The cancer was disintegrating her minute after minute, she looked twenty years older than she really was and her eyes were already dead. 

"How are you feeling, Mom?" Harry asked, already knowing that whatever she would say about how she was feeling would never be the truth. Harry knew she was sick.

"'M better, Harry, 'm better..." That was the answer. She would always say the same thing, trying not to make Harry worry more about her than he was already doing. And Harry would answer with his usual, "Luckily.", smiling slightly.

"So Johna, how's school going?" She asked, curiously. The child blushed and smiled, nodding slowly. Harry smiled mischievously and started teasing his nephew.

"Johna's now single, you know, Mom." The woman laughed, moving her hand to cover her mouth. Johnatan was too embarassed to reply, he just hid himself into his uncle's coat. "C'mon, we're not playing hide and seek." Harry said, lifting the baby in his arms. "Tell Granny what did you do today."

"I made a new friend!" The child exclaimed, his eyes shining. "She's a girl and she's so funny!" 

"Is she cute, too?" Anne asked, smiling, when she suddenly started coughing. Harry quickly got up from the bed, although it was just a cough. 

"You okay, Mom? Want a glass of water?" She nodded and Harry filled the glass and handed it to her, helping his mother drinking.

"So, J, describe this new friend of yours..." She said, and Harry relaxed

. "Her name's Daisy Tomlinson and she's nice. She has blue eyes and... and yellow hair, she's always laughing and she can dance, too. The other children don't like her because she talks a lot and uses weird words, but I like her. We talked the whole day and, you know what, uncle Harry? She likes Raven!" Johnatan's eyes were shining and he was gesticulating heatedly. Harry laughed heartedly and Anne's heart was slowly filling with love for the two. "Can I invite her to my birthday party?" Johnatan asked. "But you said you didn't even want to celebrate it! How many children will you invite?" Harry couldn't be angry with his nephew, after all he had the same mood leaps his sister had. "Oh no, only Daisy's coming. She's nice and she doesn't make fun of me because of my glasses, she says they're nice and she wants them too. I want to ask her to be my girlfriend!" Harry laughed and pinched the child's cheek, nodding. Johnatan jumped off the bed and started screaming and jumping and running all around his Grandmother's bed. Harry loved his family and nothing or nobody could ruin their perfect blissfulness.

* * *

 

Maybe it was fate or, I don't know, a bit of lucky, but Johnatan met his beloved Daisy at the supermarket below their apartment, that morning. You can't even imagine how happy he was.

"Uncle Harry, look over there!" He shouted, pointing his index finger toward someone Harry couldn't see. 

"Who's there?" He asked.

"Daisy! There she goes, can't you see?" Harry's breath hitched. That girl was the one near blue eyes, that day at Johna's school. Harry tried so hard not to think about him for the whole day, and he nearly did it. "Daisy, Daisy!" Johnatan shouted, running towards her. Harry was completely dazed.

"Uncle Harry, she's Daisy!" He said, pointing to a girl that could have more or less his age. Her eyes were blue, like that guy. 

"Well, hello Daisy, my name's Harry!" He said, benting his knees and facing the small girl. When he got up, a woman was standing beside the children. _"Why the fuck do they all have blue eyes."_ Harry wondered. "I'm Harry Styles, really nice to meet you, ma'am." He said, shaking the woman's hand.

"My pleasure, Harry. I'm Johannah Tomlinson, Daisy's Mom. It's so nice to see that she's already made a new friend, expecially with a cute child like Johnatan!" She smiled at Harry. Johannah could be at least forty-five years old, she was well-dressed, showing her high disposable income.

"My nephew didn't stop talking about Daisy for the whole afternoon, Mrs Tomlinson. Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, I think he's fallen in love." The woman laughed and small wrinckles formed at the sides of her eyes. Those blue eyes wouldn't stop staring at him. 

"Daisy either, she's never talked so much. You can call me Johannah, please, Harry. My son's your age and it sounds strange. Plus, it makes me feel old." She sad, smiling. Okay, so, Johannah was blue eyes' mother. Harry smiled nervously before biting his lips until they started to bleed.

"Okay, fine. Johannah, Johnatan hasn't got lots of friends, and I could hardly believe he could get on so well with someone as he does with Daisy, and he wants to invite her to his birthday party, it would mean so much to Johna." Johannah nodded, and gave Harry her telephone number, before turning and exiting the supermarket holding Daisy's hand.

* * *

 

They had sausages and potatoes for dinner, that evening. Johnatan kept talking about Daisy and his approaching birthday party, and Harry promised him he would take him to the shop to buy everything he wanted to decorate their home. Then he mentally pinned he really had to remember he had to buy his nephew a present. WHat kind of birthay it is without even presents?  


They watched telly until 10pm and then Harry helped Johna put on his pajama, before going to bed. He kissed the small child on his forehead, but when he was about to leave, Johnatan called him.

"Is... is Mommy coming for my birthday?" Harry was panicking. 

"Maybe, just be patient, dear." He said quickly, hoping that Johnatan would be content with the answer.

"Really? She's coming for my birthday?" He asked again, hopeful.

"Johna, I'm sorry... I'm not sure she will." Harry was trembling and he wanted to cry. Johnatan lowered his gaze, disappointed.

"How does Mommy look like?"

"Your Mom is stunning, Johna. She has these big, green eyes, and when she's angry, they become even bigger. I hope she never gets angry with you, otherwise she would tickle you until you can't breathe." The child laughed, and Harry felt like shit. "She's tall and thin. She used to have brown hair, but she likes changing her hair's color and she dyes them. She once dyed them lilac and blue, she looked like Sullivan from Monsters Inc." Johnatan laughed even more and Harry pinched his cheek.

"But... why she's never came here?" 

"She... she works a lot, Johna. I told you, just be patient."

"She doesn't love me, right? This is why she hasn't come yet..." Harry hugged the child tightly, feeling his small, damp face finding his way into the crook of Harry's neck.

"Don't you think of that ever again. She loves you to pieces, just like I do, don't you ever doubt of that. Now stop crying, please love, and go to bed." He wiped the tears from the sides of Johnatan's eyes and kissed his cheek.

"I love you so much, Uncle Harry." Johnatan admitted.

"I love you too, even more than my own life." He said, walking out of his room while the sound of _She doesn't love me, right?_ wouldn't stop echoing in his mind.

* * *

Wednesday and Thursday slowly passed, and Harry's routine didn't change a lot. He would walk with Johnatan to his school and then run to the shop he worked in, twenty minutes far from the school. At the end of the working shift, he would go home, take a quick nap before going to Johna's school to bring him home again. After school, they would go in the park, or visit Harry's mother.

Blue eyes didn't show up again, those days. When he would take Johnatan to school, there was always Johannah with Daisy. Harry preferred things to go like this. But blue eyes wasn't there even on Friday. Harry wondered where he's gone, he had literally vanished. He hoped he would never see that guy again, but on the other hand, he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed about the boy's disappearance.

That boy was totally messing with his head, was it even possible?

* * *

Everything was ready for Johnatan's birthday: ornaments were in the right places, drinks were placed on the table, and the DVDs were standing in a pile near the TV, the cake was in the fridge and Johnatan's present was in Harry's room.  
When the doorbell rang, the two Styles ran to the door. Smiling and happy like they've never been, they opened the door: Daisy was standing in front of the door, wearing a big coat, a beanie that almost covered her eyes, and a pair of pink gloves on her small hands, already handing Johnatan his present. She was alone, and Harry frowned, while the two children were screaming happily.

"Daisy, are you alone?" Harry asked, but then, blue eyes appeared right in front of him, out of breath and an undecifrable expression on his face.

Harry was totally screwed.

 


	3. Blue darker than the night sky without stars.

**Louis' POV**

"Daisy, for fuck's sake, don't run!" I yelled from the bottom of the stairs. I still didn't get why we couldn't take the lift, we were

"First floor, Daisy, their flat's at the sixth, I'm not going to run up all these stairs!" I swore, but my destiny was signed. I had to climb every damn step. I was climbing them two by two, without minding which floor I was at, while I was swearing against everyone and everything. I was running, my heartbeat fastening with sweat covering my forehead, when I saw my sister disappearing behind an half opened door, maybe because they were waiting for me. 

A husky voice (that certainly couldn't belong to a six years old) spoke directly to my sister, its sound reaching my ears. "Daisy, are you alone?"

I hurried to the door and gasped. I was expecting anyone to be there, but not him, not green eyes.  
'C'mon Louis, take your sister to the party.' my Mom said.  
'C'mon Louis, he's a good lad.' she said.  
'C'mon, you'll have some fun.' she said.  
And here that weird sensation goes. Eyes to eyes, like the first time we "met", the only difference was that this time we were closer to each other. I could admire his beauty even better: his full, red lips, perfect nose and his eyes in which you could get lost with no return. His hair was longer than they should have been, pulled back by a white bandanna, and looked so curly and soft like ever. He was wearing a black shirt with some white stamps on it, and it was unbuttoned sternum-high, and I could clearly see a pair of sparrows and a butterfly. He had black, skinny jeans covering his slender legs.

I gulped while we kept sending each other shocked glances.

"Uhm, hi, you're Daisy's brother, right?" He asked, shifting his gaze away from me.

"Uh, y-yes, I am. And you must be Johnatan's father or something." 

He chuckled, his laugh filling my ears. "I'm his uncle, Harry." He offered me his hand and I shook it, never leaving his eyes. His hands were much bigger than mine.

"I'm Louis, well... nice to meet you?"

"Come in, it's cold outside, heaters don't want to cooperate, but mine are working, don't worry." He said, taking a few steps back to let me in.

A cozy living room welcomed me, a white sofa was placed in its middle, and on the opposite wall, a white library stood. A big TV was placed on a small, white table, right in front of the sofa. 

"You can give me your coat, the hall-stand's here." He said, and I gave him my coat and my beanie. My sister had disappeared in another room with her new friend, leaving me with that shy greek god who was shifting his weight from one of his feet to the other. His arms were locked behind his back and he was biting his bottom lip; his red flushed cheeks broke the image of perfection that surrounded him.

I stared at him, he stared at me, and a weird atmosphere was slowly building up between the two of us. 

"Uhm, do you- do you want anything to drink? A beer, water, coke... I don't drink much but I shall have some beers." He had unlocked the tangle his hands had formed and he was smoothing that small down that grew on his chin. 

"A beer it's fine, perfect, I love beer..." I started blathering, and I even said I love beer; I wasn't a fucking alcoholic. "Well, I like beer, I don't love it, I'm not addicted to alcohol, it's just that, I-" Shit.

"Hey, hey, I got it, you don't look like an alcoholist though, don't worry." He said, laughing. I was acting like a perfect dumbass, and that only happened when I was extremely embarassed. He disappeared into the kitchen, his walk slow and uncoordinated. He got back after a while holding a green bottle, he handed it to me and I thanked him; he pointed at the sofa and I followed him, sitting at the exact oppiste side of the sofa where he sat. The bottle was already opened, so I silently started sipping it. His gaze was fixed on me, so focused I could feel it passing through my body and scanning me.

"So Louis, you're not an alcoholist, still you like beer, you blether when you're embarassed and your beanie is coordinated to your sweater. You're weird, I have to admit it, you could beat me." I laughed, throwing my head back, and he smiled, dimples showing at the sides of his mouth. His eyes shone even more.  
Then a barnacled child, who looked exactly like Harry, came running into the living room, smiling like Harry did, and showing a couple of cutes dimples.

"Uncle H, can we play Uno? You two, too, please, it's boring otherwise!" He pleaded, then added: "Who are you? Are you Daisy's brother? Or her boyfriend?"

"I'm her husband actually, so I'm sorry Johnatan, Daisy likes older men." 

"Hey, Daisy!" He yelled, running back to their room. "Why didn't you tell me you were married?" 

Harry laughed out loud, genuinely, and that sound slipped in my ears, in a sweet and gentle way, penetrating like the sound of classical music, classy like a ballerina. It was a hoarse, sweet, harmonious laugh.  _It was his laugh._ I didn't move. Nor I breathed or spoke, so that I could imprint that sound in my mind, to pick it up again whenever I felt alone. I loved memories, I lived of memories, and details, I loved details, yes I did.

He stopped laughing after a few minutes, his eyes glossy and he was still smiling. "And I must add something to the list: you make me laugh like nobody else."

I felt so proud. I was so proud of something stupid and baseless, but I was still proud. What shocked me the most, was the disappointed expression that soon after followed. 

**Harry's POV**

I suddenly felt guilty for what I told him. I couldn't let him believe in things that would never happen, and both of us would have suffered. That feeling of disappointment came back as usual, duly and unstoppable.   
The doorbell rang, distracting me and I got up, avoiding Louis' confused gaze. I looked through the peephole, but no one was there.

"Nobody's there..." I whispered, and Louis gave me an encouraging look while I was panicking a little. I opened the door and a too-well-known voice yelled at me.

"Shit, Harry, I was freezing my ass off out there!" It was my cousin, my worst nightmare, Zayn. I loved him, even though I'd tell him. 

"I know, it's not my fault, you dickhead." I replied, piqued but happy to have him there. He ignored me, handing me his coat and walking into the living room.

"John, uncle Zayn's here, won't ya come and greet me?" He yelled, and I could hear fast, small footsteps approaching. "Hey Hopper, so you're turning three today, ah?"

"No, I'm six! I'm a big boy now." Johnatan said, kissing Zayn's bearded cheek.

"Watch out, we have a full-grown man here. I bought you Hulk's costume, it looks like I'll have to take it back to the shop. And I'll buy you an overnighter, just like the one uncle Harry used when he went coaching Kevin. Tell me Styles, what did you put in there?" He winked, and I blushed furiously.

"Nothing apart the books we used to study... and I liked that briefcase because it made me look somehow like a teacher, I don't know, I just liked it I guess." I said, absently.

"So just a quickie?" He asked shamelessly, making both Johnatan and Louis laugh out loud.

"Zayn, language! There are children in here!" I admonished him.

"But I thought you were almost twenty-five?" He smirked, and Louis' high-pitched laugh ringed in my ears.

"I was talking about Johna and Daisy, douchebag. And, for God's sake, we were only sixteen! What could I do?" I said, baited. He looked at Louis, and then asked:

"Who's he?"

"Louis, he's Louis." I answered, as if it was obvious.

"Oh well, hi Louis, I'm Harry's charming and funny cousin, as you may have noticed." He said, patting his shoulder and sitting near him.

"Do you have to do this every time you introduce yourself to someone?" I said, while Daisy walked in the living room.

"And you are..? Blondie, blue eyes, foxy looking... you must be Louis' sister."

"I am, I'm nineteen years and six months younger than Louis. Daisy Tomlinson, my pleasure." She said, calmly.

"Fuck, Haz, she speaks better than you!" He joked, smiling at me. "Anyway, I'm Zayn Malik, lady Daisy." 

"Enchanted. I don't notice lots of similarities between the two of you, are you really cousins?" She asked, a bit of curiosity hidden in her question.

"In fact no, we aren't, Harry's uncles adopted me when I was just a newborn, so we grew up together." Zayn answered.

"It's amazing how two strangers can get affected to each other this way." She smiled, sitting on her brother's lap. 

"Stop talking like you're seventy, you're just five years old." Louis shushed her.

"Okay, so, Zayn, she's Daisy, one of Johnatan's classmates. Do you want a beer?" I asked him.

I nodded and I went to the kitchen to uncork his beer, and by the time I got back to the living room, both Zayn and Louis had become silent. 

"So..." I started.

"So..." Zayn echoed me.

"What do you do in your life?" Louis asked.

"Uh, I... I work in a computer shop and I grow my nephew." I answered.

"I own a music shop, I sell albums, guitars, drums, and everything that's related to music. I don't grow anyone, luckily." He mocked me. "What about you, Louis? I've never seen you around before..."

"We moved here two weeks ago. I'm currently unemployed but I'm working on it. And I don't grow anyone either."

"Hey! Stop it, I'm not the only single parent on the face of Earth." I complained.

"C'mon, he's not even your son, stop complaining about everything. We're just having fun, relaxo for once in your fucking life!"

And Zayn was right. But I couldn't leave Johnatan to himself.

"What are you thinking about, Zayn? I'm not going to play that shitty game again. Fuck, you threw my clothes out of the window and I had to go out half naked, on Christmas' Eve, with a stupid Santa Claus' hat, and when I was there I realised it had snowed, and all my clothes were wet. You've been an asshole, so I'mnot going to play that fucking card game again for the rest of my life." I said with shaky voice, while both Zayn and Louis laughed.

"Haz, you're a fucking coward, that game slays and you know it. You had fun, admit it." He said through fits of laughs. 

"Oh yes, expecially when I had to wear your too small t-shirt and your extra skinny trousers. I looked like a whore." I said, making Louis laugh even further.

"You looked like our grandaunt on your 10 years' birthday. She had a dappled tailleur, a huge fascinator with ridiculous feathers on it and leather boots." Zayn explained. I laughed, remembering that weird woman. "Do you remember when she gave you Barbie's house instead of giving it to Gemma? She was crying while you kept screaming 'Mom, Mom, I finally have it! I finally have it!'" 

"Okay, stop it now. I was five and I liked dolls, what's wrong with that?" I tried to defend myself from Zayn's accuses while Louis couldn't stop laughing. His laugh didn't annoy me, I loved it.

"Wait, you played with dolls?" Louis asked.

"He also had a small kitchen and he forced me to play with it. He even stole one of Gemma's dolls and pretended he was its mother, while I had to be his father." Zayn started laughing while my face went on fire; Louis rest his hand on my shoulder while the other was pressed against his stomach, his touch was soft but stinging like a hives.

"Stop it! I just wanted to have a husband and a baby, it wasn't my fault if Gem didn't want to be the doll's mother." I replied.

"Whatever you say, wifey. And o you know what was the doll's name?" Zayn said, rising an eyebrow at me.

"Please, don't..." I pleaded with puppy eyes.

"Santiago Rodriguez, like the latin gardener my Mom had hired. He called it like that because Harry was madly in love with that man, and he wanted the doll to grow up like him, but then he discovered dolls can't grow up he started crying and yelling 'why Santiago? Why did you have to cheat on me?' And even now, when he drops at mine and Santiago's there, he doesn't even look at him." 

He did that on purpose. That fucking rich pakistani asshole.

"He was a really good looking man, a few years ago. Now he has a big belly, he's almost bald and he has no muscles anymore, but latin bloods still flows in his veins and he's still sexy. I can't forget that time when we were watering your mother's flowers. I loved that man, but then his wife and son came to pick him up and I felt betrayed, it probably was my first disappointment in love I've ever had." I said, wiping a way an invisible tear.

"Oh c'mon, you've had lots of delusions before that... let me think." Zayn said, propping his chin on the palm of his hand. "Ha! You fancied your neighbor in Holmes Chapel but then he moved to France and thence you started hating French people. Samantha left you because you were gay, and I still can't understandhow she even found you attractive: you were much shorter, had a messy cloud on your head that you defined 'curly hair', your lips and your nose were huge and your face was full of pimples, you dressed like a nanny and your eyes looked exactly like children's ones." Louis had stopped laughing, trying to imagine an adolescent Harry.

"You just described me as a blotch. I wasn't so ugly and so short, I only had a small tummy and my hair were amazing, soft and curly, I had pimples because of puberty and my nose and my mouth looked huge just because my face was smaller. I didn't dress like a nanny and I was more carefree, I wasn't growing a child after all." I said, crossing my arms on my chest.

"When I was seventeen my height was the same as it is now, I didn't grow much and my fifteen years old sister's even taller than me. I had this weird haircut, I looked like a coconut, they were straight and their lenght reached my eyes. I was chubby, and I used to wear oversized polo and bermudas, Toms and cotton scarfs. I was a spit in the eye." I stared at him, trying to figure an adolescent Louis, with the same blue eyes. That colour made me remember of my blanket I had when I was a child, so cozy and warm, like his eyes. 

"Oh, really? Well, there has been times when even Zayn wasn't as cool as he is now. He was much thinner and had this greyish skin colour, he used tons of was for his hair and dressed up like a metalhead, and wore some utterly horrific boots. He was always playing Play Station and even had earrings-" I was interrupted by a pillow colliding with my face, probably thrown by a frowning Zayn.

Johnatan and Daisy forced us to play Uno. They cheated, hiding the cards under their thighs, Zayn had about thirty cards in his hands and Louis was commenting on every action like a reporter. Not that I found that annoying, I loved hearing him talk. The children won the game, who could besides them, after all?  
It already was half past six p.m. and both Johna and Daisy disappeared in theri room again, armed with pencils and papers.

"Are you staying for dinner? I can order some pizzas or cook something, I would have had to anyways." I said, mostly looking at Louis.

"I can't, sorry, my Sandra's waiting for our romantic Friday movie night. Drop Johna at mine tomorrow, nine o'clock, and you'll be staying for lunch." Zayn said.

"I know Z, but aunt Sandra can't cook for other two people every Saturday!" I smiled.

"Oh c'mon, you know she loves you and Johna. And plus my Dad's out and he won't be back before Monday, so we're all alone. No but, I want you to be there tomorrow." He said, putting his coat on. "Johna! See you tomorrow, and bye lady Daisy!"

"Bye!" Their voice came muffled from the other room.

"Bye Louis, see you around." He smiled and waved at Louis.

"Yeah, bye."

The he hugged me and whispered 'Goodnight Haz, and don't think too much', and that statement had a special meaning for us. I told everything to Zayn, he was my secret diary. I even told him how I mett blue eyes in front of the school and what Johna had told me about Gemma. When my sister died, our relationship became stronger than ever. He kissed my cheek, and pulled my headband, since he was also catty as fuck.

"Hey!" I yelled at the closed door, but I wasn't angry with him. I picked up the headband and sat on the sofa with Louis, and I felt embarassed again. 

"You have a nice realtionship with your cousin,  _Harreh..._ " He said, his icy blue gaze scanning me.

"Well, yes, we have. We fight about futilities but we both know what monsters and concerns afflict each other." I confessed, shifting my gaze to my rings, and starting to play with them.

"Cool. I've left all my siblings in Doncaster, my birthplace. I only have my Mom and my sisters here in London." He said, staring at me.

"How many sisters do you have?" I asked, curiously.

"I have four sisters, including Daisy. There's Charlotte, called Lottie, she's seventeen, there's Félicitè, called Fizzie, who's fifteen, and Daisy's the last one. Then there's Georgia, she lives with my father somewhere near here, she's twenty-two, I hardly ever see her." He said, his voice flat and bitter.

"It's quite a big family you have." I said, avoiding questions about his real father.

"Yeah, we're five. My Mom left her boyfriend, Mark, I really liked him but she left him." He said, shrugging. "I don't live with them, though. I have my own apartment." 

"Wow!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, cool."

"So why did you move from Doncaster?"

His eyes darkened, darker than a nightsky without stars. The headlight had been turned off and the bluejackets were sailing without a destination. "Problems." He said, cold and distant.

"Okay, don't worry, I won't force you to tell me if you don't want to." After that, his eyes gained life again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to act that way, I don't know what happened to me..." He said, hiding his face between his hands.

"Hey, hey, calm down. I understand if you don't want to talk about it, you don't even know me after all." I said, caressing his bent back, trying to soothe him.

"Thank you."

I pulled away my hand and went back to torturing my rings. "You haven't answered yet, you staying for dinner? I'll order four pizzas and we'll eat them in front of the telly, watching cartoons. My inside child is showing." I said, trying to make him laugh, and I succeeded. "Is that a yes?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Perfect! How do you want your pizza?"

"Plain cheese pizza, please." He answered.

"The same for Daisy, I guess?" I asked, and he nodded again.

I walked to the kitchen and hired my trusted delivery boy. When I walked back into the living room, Louis was talking with Johna and Daisy.

"Pizzas will be here in a hour." I announced.

"Are they staying for dinner?" Johnatan squealed.

"Are we, Will?" Daisy said, visibly excited, while Louis nodded.

"Who's Will?" I asked.

"Oh, Will's Louis." She said, kind of obvious.

"And why do you call him that?"

"Because my middle name is William, Das likes it because she says it makes me look like an aristocratic." Louis explained, tickling his smaller sister.

"Uncle H! You know that Daisy's father works a lot like Mommy, too? She barely sees him, but I've never seen Mommy to be honest." My nephew said, happily.

"We'll talk about it later, don't worry." I said, kissing his temple.

"Why?" He asked.

"I said later, Johna, now go, pizzas will be here in a minute." I got him off my lap and the children left me and Louis alone again.

"What's up,  _Harreh?_ " Louis asked.

"It's nothing, don't worry." I sighed afterwards.

"What are you hiding from him?" He asked again. My eyes widened. How did he know, and...

... _how did he find out?_ _  
_


	4. Ugh.

I'm so, so, so sorry but the original author of the fanfiction decided to delete the story from the Italian site where she was writing it, because nobody commented on it, and it was becoming somehow boring. I'm so sorry and I hope you still liked it :)


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